Loopless

Not wanting to miss the bus, I grabbed my belt on the way out the door assuming I could put it on later. As I stood at the bus stop, I began to put on the belt. Of course, those of you who do this sort of thing everyday know that tuxedo pants have no belt loops. It was news to me. I quickly realized that if I didn't act fast, I would have to carry my belt around with me the whole night. Depending on your perspective, I would either be in a constant state of dress or undress. The former would be uncouth, the latter, perhaps criminal. So I ran behind one of the townhouses near the bus stop and hid the belt behind a bush. Hopefully this post amuses you, but, more importantly, hopefully it serves as a reminder for me to get the belt when I get home tonight.

Silver tie in a black tie world

I am dressed up nice to report on two galas tonight. Medical fundraisers. Black tie and all. Check back for periodic updates.

Nuts about the Nats

Somebody wrote this diddy for the Washington Nationals. I'm going to my first game at the new Nationals Stadium next week. I expect to hear all fans, young or old, singing this crowd-pleaser in between every innings.*






*Meet the Mets is still a superior song.

LK

Larry King came to town today to settle a score with me and my blog. Photos are below.
Believe it or not, one of the two below is not a wax figure.




































Admittedly, one of these pictures is actually a few years old. However, always Mr. Consistency, Larry is wearing the same outfit.

Metro Mystery

When the guy across from you on the Metro is reading his book upside-down, do you say something? If anybody recognizes this title as one that is supposed to be upside-down, please let of know. Explain this witchcraft.

Tina and Stephen and I

Combining this with my previous post proves the old adage, "Larry King is old" jokes always come in threes . . .

Stephen and I

Today, in Bisnow on Business, you'll see a video from me that makes an age-pointed reference to Larry King.

Last night, on Larry King Live, Stephen Colbert made an age pointed reference to Larry King.

Maybe we have the same writers? Maybe we just both can't think of anything funnier than calling people old? Jury's still out.

Granted, Larry King's age is fodder for many a joke . . . but in lieu of recent posts, I figured I'd add this to the pile of evidence. Plus, Stephen's interview quotes are good for a laugh.

More Flight . . .

Sure, I'm the one playing catch up with this group, but I will project that upon the blog, by posting another clip by Flight of the Conchords.

Our Latest National Treasure

Stephen Colbert and I have a habit of sharing ideas for content. I don't mind when he peeks at my blog. And I hope he doesn't mind if I watch his show.

I had been meaning to visit his portrait in the National Air and Space Museum; it's part of the National Treasures Exhibition. It's the kind of thing you can't do when you're in Iowa, so why not take advantage of it? (The exhibit, which includes Dorothy's ruby slippers, Lincoln's top hat, and the Seinfeld puffy shirt, is usually housed at the Museum of American History, but that's being renovated.)

*Quick background for all this can be found in this video



Today was the final day his portrait was on display, so I had to get my act together. I mass transited into town and made my way to Air and Space. The line for the display was quick-moving, and the exhibition did not disappoint. There, amongst our other national treasures, was a photo of Mr. Colbert.






I asked a kindly stranger to take my photo. After seeing the photo, my first reaction was a bit of dismay. Why would he cut out part of the Colbert portrait? That was the whole point of being there! However, now I understand that the stranger wanted to give the photo some context, to show some edges to the display case. That way, people know it's an actual Smithsonian museum and not me fooling around in my basement. So, I'm no longer angry. And if you try and change my mind, and say I was hoodwinked, I will promptly delete your comment and pretend you don't exist.

And if all else fails, I can just pretend I'm the girl in this next photo. That way the photo includes a full Stephen and a full me (as played by the girl with her back to the camera).

Flight of the Conchords

Flight of the Conchords will be live at Lisner Auditorium on May 9th. But they're already sold out. Bummer. But you can still watch them below.

I do work too

For those who wonder if I actually have a job or if I just made that up to avoid the hassle of an actual job search . . .

I had my first official publishing yesterday. I wrote a piece about the effects of cap-and-trade environmental regulations on the South Korean Free Trade Agreement.

Not really.

I wrote about what we always write about. Business events and soirées. But I also made a video.

Washington at Night

Washington at Night. Sure beats those novelty postcards I used to receive.

MLK

By chance, or by my own failing, this isn't something I'd seen before. Robert Kennedy, forty years ago today.

Trees and Tidals

While many locals and travelers overtly praises Cherry Blossoms, we internally are wondering "Wait, which ones are the Cherry Blossoms? Is that a Cherrry Blossom? I thought Cherry Blossoms were supposed to die after 1 week . . .and it's August. I'm so confused."

Play along with me as I tackle the age old question "Is This a Cherry Blossom?" Use the pause button at the bottom to go at your own pace.

Earth Hour

It's Earth Hour in my time zone. I'm going dark.
DC, on the other hand, is getting ready for a huge weekend: a new baseball park and Cherry Blossoms.

I spent Thursday afternoon lunching at the most exclusive spot in DC: Club MD (a.k.a. The GW Hospital Cafeteria). You can tell it's a hospital because they snuck a lemon into my taco salad. They'll get you those vitamins any way they can, whether you're an in-patient or just visiting.

Improv Everywhere

I wouldn't be a good disseminator of interesting information if I didn't mention Improv Everywhere. They recently arranged some fun in a Los Angeles Mall. At the food court, 16 undercover "agents" create a musical moment by breaking out in song.

Burb Life: Adventures Not in the District (B.L.A.N.D.)

Part 1 of a my 435 part series, exploring the differences between Washington DC and its suburbs.

In Washington DC: A full-sized animal on the loose means your conscience is about to be tested.
































In Arlington: A full-sized animal on the loose means . . .

wave, there's a sale at the Staples.

Google Image Labeler: Do Your Part

I know many of you are out there saying, "Darn, I missed World Water Day yesterday. Now I have no way of lending my assistance to a worthy cause. I'm especially in trouble because I hate leaving the house, and I only contribute my time to worthy causes if I can do it over the Internet." That is what you're saying, right?

Well, you lazy philanthropists, there's a cause out there that requires no money down, and no legs down either (i.e. don't get up). Google, the champion of Don't Be Evil, is calling on you to help them out. (and, by helping Google, you help us all.)

They are currently in the process of indexing every single bit of information in the whole wide world. Hard to believe that they would need some help. But they do.

If you love using Google Image Search, but always thought it could be more accurate, well, now you can make that a reality. Surf over to the Google Image Labeler. It's simple. Once you begin, you are shown a series images. You enter words to describe the images (word association!). If the random person who is simultaneously describing the images matches one of your words, then bingo, Google uses that descriptive word to make their searches better.

It's faster than open-heart surgery and more fun that playing Frogger. Try it. It'll make you feel better.

disclaimer: using Google Image Labeler should not be used as moral compensation for not giving to actual charities.

Genius

I'll say this on the record (first time in a while I could say that), if any television show can accurately caricature the $25,000 Pyramid as well as the clip below, attention must be paid.

TBD

New Adventures commencing shortly . . .
Please enjoy the music while packing begins, the fuel tank is filled, and GPS is programmed.

It snows a lot here in Ohio. It adds to the doldrums that actually give this area a nice feeling. It must be the consistency. I'd rather have it always be doldrummy than in some indecisive state where you can't define your locale.

Ur-in Massillon

It's a privilege here in Massillon.

Why I Should Have Stayed in Iowa Longer

My biggest regret from my Iowa experience: No free sandwich.

Denver Airport

More airports should include canned jazz and concise instructions. It really gets your visit (or departure) off on the right foot.

Bye, Colorado. This looks like the right gate. Assuming the Rockies are at my back once we take off, I can feel confident I am going in the right direction.

He Went <<< >>> way

It took me until now to realize that street signs derive much of their authority from what they're mounted on. Welded to steel girders above the highway? Great. On a metal post at the end of your street? Very good. Nailed to two trees? Reach for the GPS.

Thanks for the help in this realization, Nederland.

In Colorado, the animals show you the way. Cows in Iowa should take notes.

Nederland

I'm off to the town of Nederland, CO for a day's work. Nederland is Dutch for "Netherlands" And, by the inverse property, Netherlands is English for "Nederland."

I'm posting for two reasons. One, to share the joy with you. Two, so you know my last whereabouts. Nederland is a . . . special place, so I just want to make sure I keep tabs on myself in case I get lost up there. For example, thanks to the discovery of a Frozen Dead Guy, they now celebrate Frozen Dead Guy Days (check your local listings). Maybe I'll get to meet him.

Snow? In Colorado? This wasn't in the brochure. Pretty soon they'll be saying you can ski here.

Corner Office

A office with a view. Not bad. Also, furniture is for suckers.

I suppose this proves I am in Atlanta. But you can't see the date, so I guess you'll just have to take my word that I didn't time travel during the flight.

Solidarity, Brother

Rocky Mountain High

For the past 7 months, you've been one step behind. I bounce around from city to city, state to state . . . then something happens . . . then I write about it.

This time, I'm fortunate to have some forewarning. On Tuesday, I'll be heading off to Colorado for a week. Again, for reasons of national security, I have to be vague about my purpose. But if you've got friends in Boulder, or know the best places to visit, feel free to pass them along.

Also, my plane flies through Atlanta. It's a strange route, but I can only imagine the sharp right hand turn when we hit Georgia produces some sort of slingshot effect, increasing our speed, and making it faster than if we had just flown as the crow flies. Also, flying as the crow logically seems to increase the chances of a crow flying into the engine. And with Lost premiering shortly, I don't want to take any chances.

Because some people think video is the only documentary device . . .

Cell phone quality

Ready to roll

Cousin Jacob

Community Service

A Familiar Scene

Withdrawal is a powerful force. Think back to Iowa, and what was the one guaranteed event . . . PARADES. That's why I am in Lambertville today. It's the Winter Festival Parade. Any minute now, the infantry will arrive over that bridge from New Hope, PA, the sister city.

The Garden State

New Jersey: We got yer ornate right here

Home State Advantage

I returned abruptly to NJ today. I did not blog the trip home (as I had on the way out) because of my experiences in Nevada. I spent many an hour on the "The Loneliest Road in America." The name is not misleading. I had to use every waking fiber of my being to keep my attention on the road. The monotony of the scenery and the lack of any other vehicles did a number on me. After that, I resolved that any future driving would only include 100% concentration, audio books, and Dr. Pepper. For safety reasons, blogging took a back seat. And soon, after realizing I couldn't blog from the back seat while also driving, I desisted all together.

My return home was met with quite a few surprises. My room was as I had left it, but there were new additions to the family. One is featured prominently below. The other two are a flat-panel TV and a pellet stove. Which once again proves my theory . . . parents will replace their kids with merchandise or canines at the first chance they get.

This reminds me of my junior year of high school, when I took an overnight school field trip to Minnesota. I returned home to find a new washer/dryer upstairs and my desk lamp replaced with an arctic fox. The next day, they were gone, like my parents thought I just wouldn't notice. But I did.

Glad to be back.

West Des Moines?

Funny thing happens if you forget to turn off of I-80 in Iowa and keep driving for two days.

There are clever people all over this country.

Pack those bags . . . I'm headed for Iowa!

I was in Sioux City. Now I am in Des Moines.

Perhaps it's my love of towns that have two names.

Perhaps it's my geographic detachment issues. (I'm working those out. It's a long road to recovery).

Either way, I'm in Des Moines, Iowa. Plenty of new things to sites to take in. And since I'm in an urban area, this will be an interesting contrast with the style of adventures in the Greater Meriden-Marcus-Cleghorn area in Cherokee, Iowa.

Apartment . . . Lesson

I am without my laptop due to technical troubles. So I won't be able to edit a video. But I can still hijack library computers for writing purposes. (If anybody at the library asks, I am doing a research paper on the effects of the White Tailed Deer Migration Across New Jersey on the 2010 off-year down-ballot elections.)

I'd like to do a final apartment guide, but it will be a shrunk-down version. An Apartment Guidelette. Below you will see the proper way to empty a refrigerator of liquids. I'd like to thank my roommate for providing most of the items that needed to be removed. I'll admit, the last one is mine.

The best part about emptying out a fridge is you get to fulfill that childhood dream we all share . . . . pretending you're a policeman during Prohibition. I can remember countless times under the old oak tree wishing I could have been alive during the first part of the century so I too could pour alcohol down a drain with reckless abandonment. Thanks, Iowa!
















I'd perfected my form by the second bottle.
















Ol' Fridgy threw me a curveball with this funny shaped potent potable. I struggled at first with this box . . .
















Until I realized Box was only a bag in disguise. Easy pouring from that point forward.

















I even had to pour out the prune juice to prove to myself this wasn't some vendetta against wines and spirits.
















"I said son can you play me a memory, I'm not really sure how it goes. But I'm pretty sure it's about me wallowing over my predictability, as I cried over spilling out milk." -- Billy Joel
















The End.

Like a Phoenix

I feel like I've just awoke from a 14-day ethanol induced coma (the best kind of coma, by the way, because it reduces our dependence upon foreign comas). Back to blogging . . .